我夭折了的小说 31

novel

没有几个人知道我曾经写过小说……这个书的封面还是专门请人帮我设计的。大概是2011年9月的开始的吧。那时的大学生活总感觉无聊而又漫长。尤其是像我这种单身的,大家每天上课玩手机,回寝室玩电脑,总之就是很少花时间干有意义的事(每思之至此,想起一些人叫我啥编程高手,总是愧疚万分)。 我也只花了很少很少的时间在学习上,考试成绩不怎么好就是最有力的证明。每天晚上看小说很晚睡觉,早上也很晚起床,人都感觉胖了一圈,不过体重没怎么长,有点奇怪。

看过的一部分小说以前在日志《杂记·2011》里面写过了,这里不多说。现在再来看自己以前写的小说……多扯淡啊,简直傻到家……看起来像是受尽网络小说毒害的书虫绞尽脑汁拼凑起来的。

记得当初为了写这个,每天要花上三个小时以上的时间进行创作、校对、更新、再校对……还有错别字……再校对。而每天只写三千字。为了让故事路线明确,还专门拟了一个提纲,每一章每一集应该讲什么,要怎么发展,甚至结局都想好了。而在下面的评论也挺鼓舞人心,吸引来了 17K、凤鸣轩等网站的编辑(他们是这么说,估计是专门从其他小说网站挖人拿提成的)的青睐,都要我跟他们签约,还跟我提各种建议。为了最后能坚持写完,我跟幻剑书盟签了个约。好像是有什么不论小说好与差,只要写到10万还是20万字就有4000块钱这样的,点击量与付费阅读量另算,看起来还不错的样子……

结果后来因考试,暂停更新了一段时间……然后就再也写不出来了……点击量也不高,只有一千多。完全放弃时写了总共5万八千多字,只够写了个开头,连提纲的初回都没写完……打个比方就是葫芦娃都还在杆上挂着,大娃都还没出来……就夭折了。

当时还特蛋疼地在旁边附言以后一定会继续写完。如今连提纲(纸质,上课时用笔写的)都不知道丢哪去了,满脑子的复习高数、政治等的遗留物,就更加写不出了。

最近思绪烦乱,竟又回想起当年的所谓“精彩”构思,又想重操旧笔写文码字。如果生活能够顺心,多一些时间与空间的话,不失为一种丰富多姿的精神生活。

2011年写的小说是偷偷摸摸写的,认识的人里面只有寝室屈指可数的几个关系不错的同学看到了。为了不让更多的人看到,我甚至专门带着小桌挂到床上去写。因为第一次写小说,心里难免害怕,怕自己写得差引人嘲笑——虽然确实写得很差。

我想,如果还有下一次,那么下次我一定光明正大地贴出来给周围的朋友好好瞧瞧。不管怎么样,我自己是应该欣赏它的,如果我自己都不看好它,又哪来的动力去完成它呢?

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